The Legacy Stops Here

Dear Everyone:

Remember how they taught you. How much of it was fear. Refuse to hand it down. The legacy stops here…

Melissa Etheridge


I spent the better part of the first day of the new year in intensive coaching with a young client. I should mention that I’ve reached an age where “young” is relative – this person is well into a highly successful professional career, family and all the responsibility that comes with the lives we so often seek. They were, quite simply, feeling undone. Undone by the weight of it all, undone by the unrelenting pain and trauma and loss of working in healthcare over the last year, undone by the loneliness and fear that is born of believing they were the only one to feel the weight of it all in this way. That somehow it was an indictment of their strength and resilience.

This is a lie.

Our commitment to this bootstraps-grit-rugged-individualism legacy is every bit as false and damaging as the prince charming fairytales of our youth. It breeds fear and intensifies loneliness.

The Legacy stops here.

Every interesting person I’ve known in my lifetime – personally or professionally – has looked up at some point and said, “is this really IT? Is this all there is?”

I’ve done it.

My husband has done it.

All my dearest friends and closest, most committed colleagues have been there at some point.

Every client I’ve ever worked with has experienced it.

Is this all there is?

The answer is the ever so deeply unsatisfying, “well, that depends…”


It depends on what we choose from here.

It all comes down to choice. Do I stay or go? Do I lean in or walk away? Do I come at you reflexively, from a place of fear and pain, or do I drop my fists and get curious about how you are making sense of the world? Am I willing to learn something that disrupts the way I’ve always moved and thought? Am I willing to try something new and scary?

We choose.


The last year shattered a lot of already deeply cracked and damaged systems. Healthcare and education took a particular beating, and regardless of the courage our doctors, nurses and educators have shown, the emotional and psychological toll has been extreme. The daily anger, disdain, distrust and vitriol against them has increased the harm exponentially. And while practitioners are still fully in the game - doing their very best and clinging to the hope that there is a light on the horizon - they are almost universally exhausted and hurting.

Not many people know, exactly, what it is that I do. That’s mostly deliberate on my part – word of mouth has been enough to keep me busy and allowed for a great deal of privacy around my work. That ends now. There is so much work to be done, so much healing ahead, and this has necessitated a fundamental shift in my professional mindset.

For many years now I’ve been engaged in trauma-aware, trauma-mitigation coaching. It’s a paradigm of my own creation, and it is one I’ve used successfully to help hundreds of professional clients move from places of pain, uncertainty and profound burnout into their “what’s next.” Occasionally that meant radical change, but much more often it meant internal reset. Lodestar is both the name and the aspiration of my business: to provide light at the moment you’re feeling most lost.

Last year made clear I need to expand.

To meet rapidly growing demand, I’ve brought in exceptionally skilled senior coaches with decades of experience in personal, professional and group coaching, and in leading institutions in meaningful diversity & inclusion work.

Lodestar also now offers advanced training courses and certification for experienced coaches in our trauma-informed and trauma-mitigation paradigms. These courses are small, highly experiential and designed to help professional coaches expand their scope of practice and prepare for the strong emotions and trauma that will be showing up in clients, in all professions, in the months and years to come.

Finally, we recognize that cost can be a barrier to coaching. To make the benefits of coaching more accessible, we’ve added opportunities to join single occupation coaching groups (educators, nurses, physicians, APPs) and filled our coaching fellowship with three top-notch coaching professionals who had decades of experience in their primary field(s) as a physician, nurse and educator.


It is ok to wonder “what’s next?” It is ok to question, “is this all there is?” It is ok if you’re in pain. There’s a way out. There’s a way THROUGH. And you aren’t alone.

Connect with us today. If you’re a coach, check out the upcoming master class. If you’re looking for someone to help you launch your “what’s next” or to help rediscover your personal or professional true north, schedule a discovery call.

We’re here with you.

The legacy stops here.


Stay safe – there is a light on the horizon. Get vaccinated as soon as you can. Stay hydrated. Stay brave and kind.

More soon.


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